Bullying has long been recognized as a problem in schools, however in recent years, social media has shown more physical altercations than the public had known of. The CBC did an investigative story in 2019 on it and found some disturbing information on the severity of violence in schools. Violence in schools is a rampant problem in the education system caused by this ingrained perception of masculinity that is putting children in danger. The topics of the issue that will be discussed are physical violence, sexual violence and the response of schools to the issue.

Physical violence between boys is caused by the homogeneous concept of masculinity as it shapes how boys behave. According to a CBC survey of 4000 students, 41 per cent of boys say they were physically assaulted at high school. This could be because of the socialization that boys face while growing up. Men are supposed to be strong, aggressive, independent and most of all dominant (Kilmartin, Introduction to Men’s studies). This in turn influences them in how they act, how they perform gender, in this case masculinity. Gender is not a fixed part of one’s identity, rather, it is believed to be the result of interactions, compelled by those around them (Kimmel, Masculinity). Violence is one of those behaviors encouraged by others, as Kimmel puts it in his chapter about homophobia: “Violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood. Rather it is the willingness to fight, the desire to fight”. It is not solely, “boys being boys” or play fighting, as 1 in 5 boys threatened with a weapon, demonstrating premeditation and vicious intentions. This aggressiveness may stem from the desire to prove their dominance over others, through any means necessary. It has been stated by experts that “Masculinity has become a relentless test by which we prove to other men, to women, and ultimately to ourselves, that we have successfully mastered the part” (Kimmel, homophobia). These boys were often raised believing that they deserve to feel that power, but they do not, thus they seek to achieve it.

Sexual assault is the result of the belief that one is superior to women and hence they feel entitled to access them sexually. 26 per cent of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school. This could be because of the instillation of sexism as a concept at a young age due to the cultural concept of antifemininity. According to Kimmel in his work titled Masculinity, “The boy comes to define himself as a boy by rejecting whatever he sees as female, by devaluing the feminine in himself (separation) and in others (male superiority)”. As men were being taught gender roles through socialisation, learning that men are the most important, they also learned that women, by opposition, are not. They are often taught to value women as merely sexual (Kilmartin, Relationships), effectively encouraging sexual predation. This is a direct correlation to the evidence provided by the CBC that 1 in 7 girls are sexually assaulted by another classmate. These acts of violent conquest are effectively once more about domination and the drive for power associated with masculinity.

The victims do not seek aid from their schools as it is difficult for them and that their schools are unwilling to help them because, as an institution, they don’t see anything wrong with it. Almost half of high school students don’t report violence they’ve experienced or witnessed. This is because when they do, they themselves are blamed for it happening. Being told to “man up”, being slut shamed, being called a snitch or simply being not believed is why many students feel as if they’re on their own. Men, especially those who conform to masculine norms more, are generally not likely to see the need to talk to others when they encounter issues as men are supposed to be independent, avoiding communality or relying on others as that is viewed as feminine, thus shameful. Why do schools do this? It is quite simple, as since schools are an institution, they reinforce cultural values. Kimmel states: “Institutions themselves express a logic—a dynamic—that reproduces gender relations between women and men and the gender order of hierarchy and power”, therefore, they condone the principles behind these violent incidents. That is the philosophy is why despite 2100 violent incidents in Ontarian schools in one year, 77% of those schools report no such incidents publicly. However, in doing this, they endorse the continuation of this problem as they are aiding and abetting the perpetrators of physical and sexual violence in Canadian schools.

The homogeneous concept of masculinity has caused harm to children even in an area that is supposed to be safe, from both physical harm and the emotional harm of being refused help when they are in a difficult situation by putting them down. The information that the CBC has revealed has brought eye-opening facts to light in the public conscious. Now that the cause of the problem is known, all that is left is to find the solution.

In a short interview that I conducted with a man about friendship, he revealed some things about homosocial male friendships that I, as a woman, would not be privy to. He told me that he and his friends pretty much only spend time together through online games like League Of Legends where they fight a common enemy and accomplish tasks side by side. In Kilmartin’s definition of relationships found in No Man is An Island: Men in Relationships, the kind of companionship he speaks of would be more attributed to the term “buddy” because these men only share an activity and do not show any level of emotional vulnerability or support.

In fact, my interviewee even went as far as to say that if someone were to even attempt to open up/be heartfelt to him or in the group setting, it would be uncharacteristic to their dynamic and would make people uncomfortable. A direct quote from him in this interview: “talking about your feelings in ANY conversation is a mood-killer”. What most conversations revolved around banter and playful slights at each other (other than pleasantries, small talk and the task at hand). The latter of these things serves as a type of competition, to establish a hierarchy of sorts since, according to Kilmartin, male conversations typically involve them taking turns at sharing a monologue with the group, the next person trying to one-up the last person and thus, effectively demonstrating dominance over the others.

Micheal Kimmel talks of the notion of “Institutions accomplish[ing] the creation of gender difference and the reproduction of gender order through several gendered processes” in his work Masculinity. He establishes the basis that in our society gender is expressed differently depending on context and relations to the others in said context. In a social situation, acting in a certain way or viewing a similar behavior over time, it will be perceived increasingly as normal and one is more likely to then adapt and propagate this behavior. Since gender affects how a person is viewed, tasks are separated by who would be more theoretically able to do it. If a task demanded a nurturing approach or of a servile nature, a woman would be the “correct” candidate, even if she might be ill suited to do so on an individual level. In the documentary Man Enough, they discuss how being socialized they too adopted some of the behaviors that ultimately create a rift between genders, one spoke of when women would denounce men for sexual assault, they would always lean towards believing men and not believing women, a certain “allegiance to men”.

Kimmel uses the term “Masculinities” as opposed to the singular “Masculinity” because there are different ways that one may perform masculinity and many ways to interpret it depending on culture, stage of life, from individual to individual, etc. People change how they assume their identity through interactions with others and within the society they live in. Most Eurocentric theories about gender derive from biology and also characterize women as weak compared to men. The latter was discussed in episode four of Man Enough where they spoke of, from a male perspective, how they were encouraged to devalue women. They were supposed to dominate them and take up more space than them in a conversation, effectively lacking any respect that they would give to the person had they been male.

Around 2014, there was an ad campaign for old spice starring Terry Crews as the character “Old Spice Guy” titled Man your man could smell like. The character spoke in an aggressive rapid-fire fashion and was always shirtless.

Old Spice Guy is an example of anti femininity because he does not express any emotion other than anger. He exhibits manliness further by having his large muscles on display and making other men seem inferior to him (“ladies, I’m the man you want your man to be”). Simply by appealing to women in such a way implies that he is in fact attracted to them. He cares little in his appereance, not even bothering to wear anything but small shorts or a towel and he’s confident in said appearance.

In the documentary The mask you live in, there were many instances of poignant research which shocked me. For example, I did not know that boys were two to three times more likely to commit suicide than girls. I suppose I was caught unaware because suicide is a bit of a taboo topic and so is when men have struggles. The social construct of manliness is defined by strength, both physical and in character so to admit that many of the young men in our society are “lacking” this strength, and worse try to take their own life, would be admitting that we failed them. Another piece of research that surprised me would be that one in four boys binge drink. This would be one more instance of us letting these children down, since such a significant amount of them resort to such lengths to cope with the problems of their young lives.

The documentary also spoke of how hard it was for boys to maintain relationships as they grew up, particularly platonic friendships, as showing one’s feelings or affection towards other men, could be perceived as “feminine” and thus illicit mockery. In Carlos’s case in chapter three of the book Man Up written himself, he does express a longing for physical touch and the level of intimacy in both friendships that he came across when he was in Zambia. Hand holding, prolonged eye contact while listening and such are not inherently bad, but in North American culture, doing that with anyone other than a romantic interest is odd, especially if one is a man. He longs for those meaningful connections much like the youth of the Legacy group in The mask you live in.

Stephen Hawkins, a man who was a cosmologist, theoretical physicist, former mathematics teacher at Cambridge University and author among other things such as being a great father, a fan of hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and well-known for his sardonic wit. Despite the troubles that he faced, including but not limited to his disability (motor neuron disease) and how that shifted people’s views of him, he persevered and made extraordinary contributions to the field of science, bringing a new perspective altogether.

On top of his primary career, he has starred in many films and television series. He also wrote children’s fiction in collaboration with his daughter Lucy. After initial hesitance, he became the face of disabled rights in the UK. He was quite the accomplished man, he even was able to experience zero gravity!

Inspirational to me means someone who by doing great things moves and motivates others to do better, whether no matter the scale. They would have to be passionate and knowledgeable about what they’re doing to further pass that on to others. He certainly did have these qualities and inspires me to pursue the things that I enjoy and care for.

Bouillabaisse