The act of violence in school is still present and prominent in this day and age. Many students have had to deal with everything from bullying to fighting. To the extent that CBC has aired an episode on this matter, it mainly talked about the reasons behind the violence. More specifically the reason why boys act more violent, how the school plays a role in the issue and how the false meaning of being a man has impacted these young men.  

First of all, it is said that young men are more likely to be in a fight at school or get bullied because of the way that many of them have been brought up as kids. From an early age, boys are taught to be aggressive and rough to show that they are not afraid and that they are the alpha male. For this reason, many boys bully others and get bullied in school. In fact, in a survey conducted by academics, results have shown that 41% of boys have been physically assaulted. This percentage is largely due to how many have misconceptions about the meaning behind a real man. In Kimmel masculinity it states that in Surveys in Western countries indicate that men construct their ideas of what it means to be men in constant reference to definitions of femininity”. This means that men believe that to be a real man is to be the opposite of a female. For example, how the norm for a female is that they are gentle, sweet and caring, thus men should be the exact opposite.  This is exactly the cause for violence in young men, they act in a certain way to be perceived as someone more manly. 

Secondly, the reason that violence in school won’t cease to increase is because of how the school and its staff handle the situation. It is a fact, when I say that some schools flat out ignore their violence issues and decides to blame the students for this type of behavior. Instead of fixing the problem and dealing with it. A perfect example would be how the school staff in Newfoundland kept trying to avoid the question by not answering it. This shows that the school is quite aware of its issues but doesn’t want to face it because they care more for the image of the school than their own students. To further prove my point, when the interviewer contacted certain schools on their school violence, there was one schoolboard that replied by saying that it will create reputational risk for the school. To again show that the institution plays a big hand in the issue and that by prioritizing the school it will negatively impact the students. 

Finally, it is also the fault of the other students for not trying to improve the situation. Mainly the ones that decide to stay quiet and not come forth on the truth. In this aspect, men are less likely to tell on one of their friends and even on someone that they don’t necessarily consider a friend. The reason being the bro code, where a guy put another guy above everything for the sake of this code. For example, most guys would not come up and snitch on another guys even if he knows that what he is doing is wrong. Furthermore, many guys do not like violence, but they must show that they do, in order to fit in and be perceived as a man by the others. Therefore, “Violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood” (148).  This shows that many acts in a violent way because of how it is closely related to the word man. 

In conclusion, violence in school is due to the misconception of the idea of a “man”, the negligence of the school and the students. To finish, the issue of violence in school should be a bigger priority for many and have better measure in place to reduce the percentage of violent acts in school. 

Work cited 

Kimmel M. Masculinity 

CBC School violence: How to fight for safer school 

https://gem.cbc.ca/media/marketplace/season-47/episode-4/38e815a-011d8f47088

1. Why are you close to your friend?

Answer: He said that he’s close to his friend because he feels as though he can freely express himself without being judged in front of him and that he can tell him how he feels and how he can tell him personal things, because of how much he trusts him. The way he described their relationship shows that they have a close relationship, almost like brothers

2. What kinds of things do you like to do together?

Answer: He said that he likes to hangout with his best friend, go for a drive or just go anywhere, to chill and have a conversation. He also mentioned that he simply likes his company and that being with him just genuinely makes him happy because of how they understand and trust each other.

3. Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?

Answer: Yes, he has told him how much he means to him because he doesn’t feel the need to hide that because he wanted to let him know that he is an important part of his life and that he has helped him through many tough times. He further said that, he doesn’t hide his true emotions when it comes to his close friends. Furthermore, he told me that his friend was extremely happy to hear that he was appreciated.

Analysis:

From what i understood, my friend and his best friend have a unique relationship, where there is a lot of trust and support from one anther. The friendship they have almost enters into family-hood, the way they almost have no filter and are open about everything shows how different they are to other type of friendships.This also shows that they are not scared to show their emotions and disregard what society deems as a real man, someone that doesn’t express themselves and someone that doesn’t show their true emotions. In “No man is an island: Men in relationships” Christopher Kilmartin states that men have have many buddies but few true friends and that the formation of emotional support develop over time by spending more time with that person and is the result of an indirect process. This holds true to these friends too because they said that they only consider each other true friends and that it did not happen immediately, rather this occurred over a long period of time after really getting to know each other.

Question 1

I think Kimmel means that gendered institutions such as schools and corporate businesses create these sort of rules and expectations of genders and that we abide by these rules.We are the ones that have created these norms and that we are the reason we still follow them. For example, we associate certain roles to a specific gender, like how women are supposed to be more caring and gentle while the men are supposed to be tough and fearless. The reason we still follow theses norms are because of how we have been taught into this system. Furthermore, in these institutions women and men occupy certain positions based on their gender because of how people tend to believe in the norms that men should occupy the socially high job because of their characteristic and performance.

Question 2

Masculinity for Kimmel is something very broad and very different from person to person because a man cannot be defined by a couple characteristic and that if they do not fit in these criteria, they can’t be considered a man. The term masculinity in a sense puts a sort of box around men and force them into acting in a certain way. In fact, in the episode we watched in class, one of the guys admitted to put on a mask and not be his true self because of how people would view him. Another example would be the bro code, where the guys put their guy friends above everyone else even if they now its wrong, this shows how men are afraid of being ostracized and seen in a non masculine way because a man would never break the bro code.

A man is defined by society in various ways, more specifically being stereotyped into gendered roles, some example would be that men should be strong, show no signs of weakness, be independent and have the ability to not show any sort emotions because it is not fitting of a man. This is completely ridiculous to think that that is something society deems to be worthy of being called a man. However I have the perfect counter example for this, that being Jake Paul, a youtuber and social media personality who has amassed over 19 million subscribers with his many YouTube videos. The fact that he has a platform where everything and anything of this person is available to everyone , it becomes very hard to hide their emotions and personality.

First of all , Jake Paul is someone that has succeeded in life thanks to everyone that has helped him get there . From his family members to his friends, his success comes from the support of everyone . The fact is that to be a man, you don’t necessarily have to be independent and do everything on your own in order to become successful or achieve the so called man title. All this to say that asking for the help of others doesn’t shows how incapable you are and that men should not be scared of asking for help when they need it.

Second of all, being a youtuber means showing your emotions and your personality. That being said Jake Paul isn’t someone who shy’s away from showing his emotions even if it means crying on camera, which society has deemed wrong for men and to be something that the typical man should not do. For example, when he won his boxing match, he didn’t hide his emotions or rather he started crying because of how proud he was of himself. In short, it’s to say that crying or showing emotion has nothing to do with being a man, rather it’s a something that society has created to categorize men.

The documentary , The mask you live in, showed some very interesting things about how certain men were raised, how they were affected by being treated in a this type of way and how they’ve been singled out by people.One thing that really jumped out to me is how all the guys in the videos had almost similar experiences. For example, there was one of the prison inmates that said because of the way he acted, he got beat up and sexually abused,and because of that he decided to stray towards the path of violence. Another example would be the young Latino guy who was acting out and selling drugs because of how he has been neglected and treated.In short its to say that if these guys could’ve expressed their feelings without being judged , they would not be in this type of situation. In fact less than 50% of these men reach out for help because they’re scared to be seen doing something, the norm would consider weak.

Secondly, the part where the teacher said that in elementary school, there was something called the mean club and like how the boys were not allowed to play with the girls. That part jumped out to me because of how I have lived trough something very similar back in elementary. In my school, there was two groups, the girls and the boys, we were never allowed to play with one another because the guys would think that playing with girls, makes you feminine or gay. Furthermore, if one of us were to accidentally end up playing with them, that person would be kicked out of the group but thankfully this phase didn’t last long and by the end of elementary we all stayed together without really judging too much. More specifically, this was due to the intervention of the school because of how certain guys developed a mentality that acting a bit more feminine or liking what the girls did was not okay. Seeing that we live in a society where even at a young age guys are meant to like more masculine things and are forced into liking things that they don’t necessarily like.

Lastly, in Carlos Gomez’s book, the part that stood out to me would be where he is unsure of his sexuality and is confused as to if he’s gay , more specifically the part where he says that he has had sexual interaction with girls multiple times but he talks in a way that makes it seem as though he’s not so excited. This passage tells me that he is doing this only because it is normal for a guy. To me it seems that he has been molded into a guy, liking a girl, but deep down i think that if society had not put barriers to what he can do, he would’ve turned out a different way. Likewise, in the documentary, it was shown multiple guys being bullied because of the way they acted causing them to lock down their emotions

Graham Stephan is an american Youtube personality who mainly makes educational and financial type videos. He has been a big inspiration of mine because of the many things he has accomplished throughout the years. He started his career as a real estate agent, when he got denied from college. Unlike some people, he did not let that stop him from achieving greatness and that is something I admire a lot from him. From his humble beginnings, living in a working class family to the millionaire lifestyle, he has always stayed true to himself, he didn’t let fame or anything go to his head. Instead he decided he wanted to inspire the younger generation by teaching them how to save money and how to become someone successful via his videos.This is the type of people I would consider inspirational because they have had a major impact on people by spreading their knowledge and trying to help other people succeed in life.

In my opinion, for someone to be considered inspirational ,they have to have certain qualities like spreading a good message, trying to make the world a better place, someone that people would look up to and think that one day i too will become like them. In short, Graham Stephan is someone that has inspired me because he has motivated me and has taught me a lot of valuable lessons in life.

Sushi