For this blog, I interviewed one of my best friends. I asked this best friend 3 questions, which are “Why are you close to me (his best friend)?”, “What kinds of things do you like to do together?” and for the last question ” Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you?”, I already know the answer for that.

When I asked the first question, he told me that he was very close to me because he felt comfortable being himself around me and that he never felt judged. He also said that he is very close to me because he could talk to me about anything, and would always come to me when he needed someone to talk to.

When I asked the second question, he said “everything, like our depression sessions late night in the car, our hangouts and literally all the time because we’re always joking around and having fun.”

And for the last question, yes, my best friend has repeatedly expressed to me how grateful he is to have me in his life and how much I mean to him, and I express that to him too.

In the documentary “The Mask You Live In”, we see many aspects about how a ‘man’ should act and how he shouldn’t. In this documentary, there were a lot of boys who spoke about their experiences and talk about how they can’t act a certain way, like showing emotions or talking to friends about personal problems, and they talk about how bad it is for them.

The first point that got my attention in the documentary was how boys nowadays can’t follow their dreams because they’re pressured into doing something else as what they want to do is not ‘manly’. For example, arts can sometimes be considered to not be manly and someone who is interested and is talented at this could just lose it all to do something that makes him feel like he belongs, so peer and social pressure plays a big role in this.

Another point that they said in the documentary was that the way of parenting plays a big role in how the son turns out. If the parents are very supportive and show the son that he can always talk to them about whatever he wants to talk about, the boy will be more comfortable talking about his problems. But if he was raised with the attitude of ‘be a man’ or ‘don’t cry’, and also that showing emotions is not manly, then the boy will be very closed in his own problems and will not feel comfortable talking about it to anyone, as his own parents judged him about it.

When boys do have problems going on in their life and do not have someone to talk about, they usually turn to drugs and drinking, and sometimes even violence. And when they can’t take it no more, they start contemplating suicide.

The part from Carlos Gomez’s book where he says “Masculinity is a choke chain. It is a suffocating bar that will never be met” really stands out because what he is saying is true, that no one will ever be the toughest, the most brave, the most powerful and the most ‘manly’. And from when we are younger, we are always taught to be tough and strong and not to fear anything to become men, but it is very tiring as there is always someone who is stronger than you. And either way, physical strength is NOT what makes someone a man.

Independence and inexpressiveness are two things that a lot of men are raised and encouraged to act upon in the modern world, and it is seen as something that makes someone a man. Even though it is not necessarily something that makes someone a man, we see it in a lot of public figures nowadays.

When I first chose David Beckham, I thought he was dependent on himself only, but as I was researching for information about him and looking through his speeches he has given, I found out that Beckham was also very dependent on his family and the people surrounding him to get him where he is now. I was surprised when I saw this, but I guess that proves the point that masculinity isn’t necessarily being dependent on one’s self, but it is also about the people surrounding you. I also found out that Beckham is very expressive of his emotions and about all the support he has gotten. He says this in one of his interviews at Goldman Sachs where he says “I think it’s a combination of many things. The biggest thing is the support that I had from my parents…” when he was asked on the reason why he made it as a legendary athlete.

To conclude, I would like to say that I think that Beckham and many other people around the world have proven that masculinity isn’t dependent on being inexpressive and independent. Beckham is a very successful athlete and I think he is a great counter example for this thought that to be a man, you can’t express yourself and depend on others.

The man who inspires me is my dad. He inspires me because he made me the person I am today; he has always been there with me and pushes me to always follow my dreams and be the best version of myself. He is the most hardworking person I have ever known, and even though we are not rich, he makes sure that we always have everything we want and need. He always takes care of me and my family and always puts us first, and even though he works a lot, he still always makes the time to be with us. He is an architect and watching him design buildings and working from when I was a kid made me realise that I love architecture too and that hopefully one day, I’ll become even a small bit like the great architect and man he is. He is also like a friend to me and I would always go to him when I need advice on anything, and he will always have an answer to my questions.

I think what makes someone a role model to you is when they push you to work hard and be a better person and follow your dreams, and that’s why my dad is my role model.

Sushi