Many people wonder what is going on behind the scene during a hockey game. We tend to assume that players just play the game and go home afterwards. However, many news reports covey the idea that being a hockey player isn’t just like any other typical job, but a job that can have positive and negative consequences that will potentially affect their life and relationships. 

If we were to picture a hockey player, we would automatically picture them tall, good looking and muscular. We would also describe them as someone who is aggressive because of all the fights we see during games. As audiences, we can sense that hockey is portrayed differently than any other sport because fighting, pushing, and giving each other concussions are encouraged during games. We would also see that some referees won’t even stop the fights players started. Therefore, it makes us wonder if players are taken cared of during hockey season and off season. In the CBC news website, a report was talking about how hockey players are intoxicated by the “hockey culture”.  As we all know by now, toxic masculinity is a systemic issue that has to be put in order. Just like Kilmartin explained in his article called “Defining Men’s Studies”, hockey has a “manbox” that players should follow to be successful. He stated “males are encouraged from early age to avoid behaviors, interests, and personality traits that are considered “feminine” (5). We can compare this with hockey players because if they are seen as a sissy they are most likely not to make the team because they won’t fit in with the group. For example, Wade Belak, an NHL enforcer who played 14 seasons in NHL was fighting with other players because it was part of the game. He said “he didn’t love it, but he was fine with it [because] he wanted to stay within the NHL and have his career” (Smart & Ellenwoord). This goes to show that players are forced to do things that are not in there liking to stay playing hockey. Furthermore, although there is a lot of proofs that violence is very present during hockey games, senior vice president of NHL Gary Bettman won’t even recognize it as something serious because fighting on ice is something that fans want to see often during games ; and those fights bring money to their wallet. Hockey has obviously became a business rather than a passion. Therefore, if hockey players bring more rates and money to their pockets, why should Bettman stop players from fighting each other if that’s what intrigues fans the most? This toxic business affects players self-worth. The article “Men at Work: Jobs, Careers, and Masculinity” by Kilmartin it says, “masculine socialization shapes behavoir, but ongoing social contingencies maintain it” (233). He then goes on by stating society made that wealth is what defines your worth and value in this world (233). We can parallel this with the careers of NHL players. Like I said above, if fighting is what makes hockey players famous and grow the NHL business, they will be more accepted in the league and hockey culture. In short, hockey players use violence to grow in the business because that is what makes them be and feel part of the NHL business. 

To continue, because of the fighting and concussions, hockey players experienced some negative consequences that affected their family’s life and theirs. Many of the players have severe concussions that caused them to have CTE. Players like Todd Ewen, Daniel Carcillo, Wade Belak and many more have suffered from CTE. Moreover, although they only knew recently that they had CTE, CTE is the reason why NHL players are suffering with their identity and role in their relationships. For example, Daniel Carcillo, he began to change personality and become more aggressive towards his wife and kids because of CTE (Smart & Ellenwoord). His wife said that he would come home and not talk about his day or anything (Smart & Ellenwoord). Despite not knowing the cause of it all, men tend to not talk about their emotions because it isn’t “manly”. In the article “Men at Work: Jobs, Careers, and Masculinity” by Kilmartin, it is stated that men didn’t learn how to deal with emotional problems and how to talk about it with someone. They tend to keep it all in their head. Men also have been “raised to ignore emotion” when it comes to being vulnerable (Kilmartin). This means that men will try to deal with problems alone even though it concerns their partners and kids. Furthermore, even if men try to be emotional, society will criticize them because it isn’t “normal”. Based on the article by Kilmartin “Defining Men’s Studies”, he says that because society portray men as strong and independent human beings, we assume that they can control and solve any problems themselves (5). However that’s obviously not true. For example, Wade Belak, he had many personal problems that he thought he could’ve solved alone but ended his life because it was too much to handle. This goes to show that because of the society defines how men should be, men who needs help won’t ask for it because of the toxic masculinity. In short, hockey culture is a toxic culture that needs to help hockey players that has CTE rather than turning the other cheek because they aren’t “man enough” to solve their personal problems. 

In conclusion, men have been put through in a lot of pressure to fit in society. Hockey is just one of many example of how toxic masculinity is very present in our society. We tend to assume that everything will go well because men are strong and independent. But that is not true because like I have mentioned above, many men want to reach out for help but could not because they are scared of being seen as too sissy or too feminine. We need to change our way of thinking and let men be vulnerable so we can end this toxic culture. 

Throughout the last decade, we made a significant amount of progress in fighting for equality between man and woman. However, there are still people who keep the same old mindset about how women should be labelled as objects. This way of thinking feeds men’s ego to the point where they created an ideology of it. And that group is called the Alt-Right, where they believe in all white male supremacy. On March 3rd, we listened to Jay Marquis Manicom’s ethnographic study called “From the Red Pill to “White Genocide”: An ethnography of the Alt-Right in Montreal”, where he talked about how the group came together and ended up being part of the Alt-Right movement. 

While Manicom was presenting his thesis, he mentioned one point that was disturbing. He said that the group he was studying all went to “The Red Pill” to talk poorly on woman and set ideas on how women should be placed in society. Some examples he used was that they wanted women to not vote anymore, to have no political position, and to basically stay out of their business. In addition, they use violent words and/or actions to express their manhood because like Kimmel said “violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood” . To continue, not only to they talk badly on woman, they also talk about how to get laid. They try so hard to be the stereotypical man that only wants to be superior than woman. Kimmel stated that men are afraid to be called and to be seen as feminine that they put a mask to “remove” their feminine side. And in this case, the sole purpose of that website is to hide their sissiness and to prove that they are the definition of man, which we all know isn’t true. 

Moreover, Manicom said while interviewing them he realized that they all had normal jobs and normal lives. They were not “crazy”. They just had crazy ideas about how they wanted to “rule the world”. This group really proves to us how thinking you have the power over anybody can lead to irrational thinking and behavior. Also, this sort of bonding they have, Kilmartin would call this acquaintances. They are just buddies that meet and talk about specific topics. No actual “emotion” and “intimacy” are shown within them. (Kilmartin). That kind of relationship is toxic and lead to no real friendship. Furthermore, what’s also shocking is that this group is from Montreal. We are here thinking that multiculturalism and equality are 100% supported, but sadly it is not. That is why we need more people like Jay M. to talk about important subjects like the Alt-Right because they are preventing women to reach their great potential. That being said, it is sad to still hear and see that groups like them think that their ideas are valuable. What men like them need to do is face the truth that they’re too scared to admit that they are miserable without us women.

INTERVIEW 

Me: Why are you close to your friend?

Him: Well, we meet in secondary 3 in French class and started talking about how we were going to fail this class because of the teacher’s high demands. And ya it started off with that conversation and later on we became good friends. We relate to lots of things like we love playing video games, eating pizza, and playing basketball. So ya, as we continued to hangout, we became very close, we open up to each other about most things basically. 

Me: What kinds of things do you like to do together?

Him: like I said we love playing video games and stuff. Actually, since last summer we enjoy going out in downtown to eat. 

Me: Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? 

Him: I don’t think I ever told him “I love you” but when it’s his birthday I do express by love to him. He’s my best friend, I am happy when I am with him and trust him always. 

Me: How did he react when you talked about your love towards him on his birthday? 

Him: Well, he said thank you and told me that he loves me too and considers me part of his family. And in my culture, when somebody say “we consider you part of my family” that means that there is no going back. Meaning even in conflict, you have to love that person unconditionally.

END

ANALYZING 

The person I interviewed answered the questions with lots of emotions. They didn’t portray their friend as only a buddy. Like a person that you only hangout with to play video games or sports. He talked about his friend like as if they were already brothers. The fact the he showed his love towards his friend, totally scratch the stereotypical picture of a male-male relationship. They have an emotional intimacy. They not only talk about sports but also talk about their hopes and dreams without being ashamed. And that right there is the REAL definition of best friends.

QUESTION 1 

Reading “Masculinity” by Kimmel was like reading informations I unconsciously knew about. Me, myself going to job interviews or socializing with the opposite sex, I tend to act a certain way and maybe sometimes change my look to please them and get accepted. Therefore, when Kimmel said, “Institutions accomplish the creation of gender difference and the reproduction of gender order through several gendered processes”, I think he is saying that institutions, especially any workplaces, shape our characteristics as individuals. As a result, gender differences and gender order are created. Like the paragraph suggested, if you ask a man in a frat party what’s masculinity and if you ask him again in an interview what’s masculinity, he will definitely say a different answer. Putting this into relation with the episode 4 of “Man Enough”, they themselves admitted that society/institutions shape their view and character as a man. They’ve all hidden their emotions, forced to put on a masked, not break the bro code, and “removed” their feminine side. Even Lewis Howes, when he was a football player, he was seen doing “gay” things like hugging guys. Hugging guys now was something that he needed to stop doing to be accepted in the institution of football he said. Therefore, with what he had said, we can see how football shaped his character. 

QUESTION 2

Kimmel uses masculinities rather than masculinity because there is no one definition. It is a subjective perspective. Therefore, what an Asian man think is masculine versus what a Canadian man think is masculine is totally different because their culture, experiences, feelings, values, etc are what defines their masculinity. That is why it is more accurate to say masculinities. Moreover, having the knowledge of how institutions form how we interpret masculinities will enable our society to reduce inequality and order. Like the text wrote, most career pathways are designed for men. So, relating this to the film, the actors said that if they knew better for example, breaking the bro code doesn’t disqualify you a man, maybe some assaults they have seen or abuse might have been stopped. Therefore, if all these informal social norms given to men and women are gone and if institutions were equal, maybe our society’s way of thinking and living will change for the better ❤

  The mask you live in really opened my eyes on how boys are “trained” since they were little to “be a man” or to “man up”. Therefore, hearing in this documentary that less than half of boys and men with mental health are seeking help, every day three or more boys commit suicide, and are judged for being vulnerable is just heartbreaking. So, what really got my attention was when Ashanti Branch (educator and youth advocate) did an exercise with his students. He basically asked them to write on a paper what emotions they are showing to the public and in the back of the paper their real feelings. This got my attention because he did a good job at making the students see that they weren’t the only guys feeling that way and that they are not alone. Also, what Joe Ehrmann (coach and former NFL player) said about how coaches play a big role on the guys is something that all athletes should listen too. Because having a good coach that supports who you truly are, knows your limitations, accepts your other passions, and guides you to the right direction is the perfect coach/mentor! 

     Secondly, what really got my attention from the book of Carlos Andres Gomez was when he had a girlfriends and talked about how they would have sex and stuff even though he knew he was gay, because it pains me to see people hiding their true feelings for the wrong reasons, which in his case is because it is not socially accepted in public and in his family/culture. Now watching this documentary it helped me understand his reason; people were reinforcing him to be a man and to do what all frat boys do!!!

Hey what’s up guys! 

Doing this assignment made me realize that I don’t really have that much man figure in my life. I assume that most students in this class have a father or siblings. Welp, in my life I got neither (lol). I basically live only with my mom and her sister. That having being said, when asked what man you consider inspirational, I don’t know who to pick than someone famous. But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to write about a person that I do not have any personal connections with. Therefore, the man that I find inspirational to me was one of the oldest members in my church, who I consider to be until now the manly figure to me. Ralph was born in 1924!!! YUP that long ago, in Japan and due to war and political issues in that country, he and his family took the boat and travelled here to Canada. I remembered him talking about how hard and overwhelming the travel was. He talks a lot actually about how time passed to fast and how technology is growing immensely than he imagined. But yeah, he talks about all the adventures he did before getting old. He was never rich nor poor, but he was super content of what he did for himself, his family, and our church. And that is why I find him inspirational. Despite, the war and sadness of leaving his home country, he never showed his pain. He always kept going in life because at least he got a family, a church, friends, and me. Ralph is kind of hard headed because like he always said “I’ve been here longer than you, I know the ways”. However, he is also super funny and kind. He’s the type of person to give while not expecting something is return, which in today’s day not so many people can do that. Right?

Anyway, before I bore you, for me being inspirational is having an impact in someone’s life. Being valued. Being seen as someone who puts people first before them. And that is what Ralph is all about. Being inspirational starts by little things. Yes, he didn’t change the world or created things, but he was someone with great knowledge and someone full of life. Writing this brings to such memories. Ralph would come in my house every Thursday after his day to see the kids in my house (my mom have a daycare) and he would be so happy. Every time I see that smile my heart gets warm. In all, what he brought to me and my family was nothing but happiness and laugher because that is what matters to us. Anyway, back in 2016 is when things went south and he unfortunately died at the age of 92. He was nothing like you would’ve imagined because at that age he was still driving, drinking beer, and never wore glasses. I hope I become like him when I get older…

May he finds rest and more happiness in heaven… 

xo, Sherrin