Schools is supposed to feel like home, a safe place with people you can trust. However, we quickly realize as we grow older that this is not true as violence and sexual assaults often happens during school days. In fact, school is the opposite of a safe place for some students, they feel scared and alone to the point where they have to look out for their own safety because they know that the school does not provide enough protection. And when students finally talk to the school about their situations, the school takes it lightly and often times it is ignored.

First of all, we have this misconception that to be a man a person must follow certain characteristics. Kids learns this at an early age through their father’s way of doing things and applies it to their daily life. One of the misconception is that violence is often the single most evident markers of manhood (Kimmel 148). Without any context of Jaden and the bully’s relationship, we can assume that they had a conflict and the only way to solve it is through violence. Our society has normalized this idea of solving a problem through violence because talking it out and expressing their emotions is considered to be feminine and would destroy their manly image in school (Kimmel 2). This case is not uncommon, the CBC stated that 41% of boys have been physically assaulted. This shows that the stereotypical concept of man is still very present in our generation. Although violence has no place in our world, boys have no other choice but to apply violence in school to assert their dominance and prove their manliness because they believe that it is a necessary process to become a man.

Secondly, boys are not the only victim in school, girls often receive worst assaults. This is due to the fact that boys believe that they are superior to girls and as a result they view them as a toy and play and touch them whenever they want without consent. In addition, because to be a man is to not be a woman and being strong is attributed to man, boys believe that girls are weak therefore they think that doing stuff to them wouldnt have any consequence. Men gain status and achievement in many things they do such as sports, work and notably sexual conquest (Kilmartin 3). However, if they fail to seduce a girl they will bring another stereotypical trait a man has to achieve their sexual needs. Force and dominance is used to achieve it (Kilmartin 2). As proof, in the CBC video, a boy sexually assaulted a 9 year-old girl in the bus. This proves that the stereotypical concept of man not only harms men but also women.

Thirdly, I believe that these assaults are preventable to some extent. Schools should be able to control their students behaviour by fortifying their rules and adding cameras or employees to places such as buses in order to provide protection to students. The school’s main objective and concern is supposed to be their students however, in the CBC video it shows us that money and reputation is more important. As proof, letters were sent to multiple schools demanding for datas on school violence, schools demanded for high amount of money and others denied the request because it could potentially ruin their reputation. Not only is this morally wrong but it also motivates bullies to continue doing harm to others because they recognize the school’s inability to act and respond to violence.

In conclusion, the way we’ve been taught on how to become a man is poisoning the children into believing that violence and superiority is mandatory to be manly. Not only is it harming young boys but the girls are also affected by it because of certain traits a man has such as force and dominance. To prevent such thing from happening in the future generations, we must change the way we portray a man and encourage them to express their feelings without feeling feminine.

Work Cited

CBC News, CBC/Radio Canada, gem.cbc.ca/media/marketplace/season-47/episode-4/38e815a-011d8f47088

Kimmel, Michael. Masculinity as Homophobia. 1994.

Kimmel, Michael. “Masculinity.” International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences. Ed. William A. Darity, Jr. 2nd ed. Vol. 5. Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2008. 1-5. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 9 June 2014. 1-5. Print.

Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler. “Defining Men’s Studies.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 1–7

On March 3, we were fortunate enough to listen to Jay Marquis-Manicom to talk about his thesis entitled “From the Red Pill to ‘White Genocide’: An Ethnography of the Alt-Right in Montreal.” He presented his experiences by surrounding himself with a group of men that have similar ideas: A group of white supremacist who hold antifeminine ideologies called The Alt-Right.

One thing that stood out to me during his presentation was when he said that the Alt-Right people are normal looking people. It shook me because we typically view them as drug addicts with tattoos all over their body, but to know that their looks are similar to ours is honestly alarming because we may not be able to distiguish them in our daily lives. They might look normal but its their loneliness that makes them change their ideologogy. Jay said that they often lack a sense of belonging which results in joining a group and this causes them to change their views on certain things. In the text “Masculinity” by Kimmel, he stated that “each of these people is deeply affected by the gender norms and power arrangements of their society.” They may at first have a positive view on women but by joining a group like Alt-Right, it forces them to change it and become brainwashed into thinking that men are superior and that women has no values in the society just to fit in the group.

Moreover, Jay also talked about the Red Pill, a place where men can discuss their hate towards women. Sexual conquest is one of their topics in the Red Pill. In Killmartin’s text “defining men study”, he stated that “Men gain status by being successful in all that they do especially in sport, work, and sexual “conquest”. So by bragging on having sexual intercourse on the The Red Pill, they feel powerful and earn other mens respect. They are ranked higher than other men to the point where others asks them advices on how to get a women to sleep with them.

For the first question, “Why are you close to your friend? Be specific”, the person answered the question without hesitation and seemed to me like he already asked this question to himself before. He said ” I am close with my friend because he is always fun to be around. I can definetly trust him since we share our own little secrets together and have never told anyone about it even when we get into a heated argument. I consider him as my brother, he supports me emotionally and always push me to better myself.”

For the second question, “What kind of things do you like to do together?”, He answered by saying “Well, we basically do what other people are doing these days. We play games on my console when were bored, we go to Downtown to shop or eat in a restaurant like Seoul chako or Mon Ami and we also try to watch the latest movies in the cinema. Honestly, the places we go to doesn’t really matter since it’s our conversations that makes it ten times more enjoyable.”

For the third question, “Have you ever told your friend how much he means to you? If so, what did you say and how did he react? If you have never told him how much he means to you, why not?”, He confidently answered by saying ” Yes of course I have. I thanked him for being my best friend and sticking to my side for years during a party. Maybe it was the alcohol that made me say that but regardless I still meant it. We were pretty drunk that day so he only said a few words to thank me but once we were completely sober, he brought it up again and told me that it really means a lot to him that I said those words during the party and also told me that he considers me as family.”

The person I chose is Tyler Gregory Okonma also known as Tyler, The Creator because he is the complete opposite of what Brannon’s definition of a man is in the textbook The Masculine Self.

Just like any other artist, he express his emotions and life situations throughout his music, but what makes him particularly special is the fact that he released an album called “Igor“, an album where he openly admits his love and heart breaks with a man. Every track on the album is a story about their love life, commencing from the start of their relationship to their break up. He is not someone who portrays emotional stoicism because in one of his songs he says “Don’t leave, it’s my fault” referring to the problems he had in the relationship with the man. Besides his music, he also doesn’t avoid any behaviours the might be construed as homosexual. For example, he dresses however he wants ranging from wearing wigs to wearing cheetah print clothings to wearing colourful bright shirts.

To conclude, Tyler, the Creator oppose to what Brannon’s definition of a man is because he doesn’t hide his emotions and doesn’t let the gender norms stop him from wearing what he likes.

In the documentary “The Mask You Live In”, the film showed how boys slowly transitioned into manhood in an American culture. A lot of facts were stated about how the reality of becoming a “man” is a lot harsher than what we originally thought. There were plenty of shocking facts about manhood but the two facts that struck me the most was when the video explained how playing or hanging out with girls is considered feminine and that 50% of boys don’t seek help.

It shocks me that even to this day, people judge boys and call them gay just by simply playing with girls. Although, it is more acceptable to hang out with your girl friends nowadays as a man, I still occasionally feel judged. People will look at you weirdly and will make you feel like an outcast in that friend group. I realized that those who criticize still lives by the rule “boys with boys and girls with girls only”. The second fact that surprised me is that 50% of boys don’t seek the help they need. That is an extreme percentage in opinion. Boys shouldn’t be ashamed and feel restricted to tell how they feel but sadly, in the world where we live in, it is “necessary” for boys to hide their emotions to become a man. Boys will typically bottle up their emotions until it is full which results into anger and violence, a trait associated to men.

After watching the documentary, I now understand why Carlos didn’t want to go to the gay club with his girl friends and felt uncomfortable by that idea. Since he was still young at that time and was still transitioning into manhood, he was following the norms of what is deemed to be normal in becoming a man in American culture. Stereotypes define gay men as being more feminine therefore Carlos didn’t want to associate himself with them by refusing to go to the gay club.

Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, also know as Xxxtentacion is an American artist. Jahseh’s father abandoned him and his mother at a young age and in result, made him a hard headed person during his teenage years with no father figure to guide him. His early life was dark. Drugs, gun possessions and gang activities lead him to juvenile detention centre where he found his passion in creating music. Jahseh continued to make music even after his release from juvie and in 2017, he released his Hit song “Look at me” where he quickly began to have a huge following of younger audiences on all music platforms such as SoundCloud and Spotify. The song was loved but was also hated by most adults for having offensive and shocking lyrics. Nonetheless, he continued to make more controversial songs throughout his short career. He was diverse with his music. Jahseh expressed his emotions to the public through different music genres and never kept the emotions in him. For example, he made rock music when he felt anger and other genre when he felt sad. He was already considered a legend in the music industry by many people despite only being 20 years old. However, his career didn’t last long, in June 18 2018, he was pronounced dead after being shot by robbers.

Xxxtentacion inspires me the most because the more I listen to his music, the more I realize that by being open and by expressing his emotions in his music, he is not only helping himself release pressure from his chest but also millions of peoples. Personally, he helped me cope with similar problems he was dealing with by listening to his music and made me feel like I wasn’t the only one in the world to share my hardships. He once said “I advise you not to hide your feelings, don’t pretend to be okay when you’re not okay and don’t pretend to be happy when you’re sad. It’ll only lead to misery.” He made me realize that I have to be vocal about how I feel about my problems or it’ll only destroy me day by day.

Lastly, a person is considered inspirational if they are passionate and believe that their work will bring improvement in peoples lives. They also have a good sense of leadership and are trustworthy.

Jake’s cafe🤡