Who would have thought that school, which was meant to be a place to educate elementary, high school and college students, would also double as a place where violence is surrounding them constantly? Students, whether it be boys or girls, face the issue of gender-based violence.

The CBC team at Marketplace investigated schools on the issue of students harming other students. As a result, schools were not cooperating unless they gave them fees, worried about students’ privacy and the school’s image, what’s even worse is that they just didn’t want to deal with it. Instead, the CBC did a survey approach to the students, “The results are stark: 41 percent of boys say they were physically assaulted at high school; 26 percent of girls say they experienced unwanted sexual contact at school; one in four students first experienced sexual harassment or assault before Grade 7.” To elaborate on my points, I will look into what could be the reason there is violence towards boys, how it affects others and why schools act that way.

First of all, boys get into fights mainly because they were taught to respond violently to anything that harms their notion of masculinity. Boys are taught to take up a stereotypical concept of manhood. For instance, they should always be ready to fight and get aggressive. We have normalized it for men to solve a problem by physically and verbally assaulting the other but not when they show or talk about their feelings. They can’t reach out to anyone, because it indicates that they can’t deal with it on their own. It would lead to insults thrown at them because the qualities of being emotional and asking for help are not seen as manly but seen as a feminine characteristic.  In Kimmel’s “Masculinity,” what it means to be a man is to be unlike a woman (2). In other words, a man is completely the opposite of women, who must show that they can fight when needed and deal with it like a man. The gender binaries are defined as mutually exclusive of each other and in terms of lack, negation and opposition.

Furthermore, boys tend to get bullied or bully others, likely because of how much pressure there is to be considered a man. For instance, the pressure boys face playing sports, how coaches use languages such as “you play like a girl” or “don’t be a pussy” to make them perform better. How boys compete on who is more of a man and their performance is the sole measure of how much of a man they are. Kimmel remarks in “Homophobia”, “…making sure that nothing even remotely feminine might show through” (148). Toxic masculinity, thus, relies on antifemininity as one of its main pillars.

Moreover, in violence against girls, we see how the forced idea of manhood works negatively towards both boys and those around them. A common reason why there are sexual assaults is that a girl’s “no” is not taken for an answer by those who have been taught to be unfailingly dominant and to never back down. Therefore, a lot of sexual violence comes from a man wanting to have and maintain the power and superiority that traditional definitions of masculinity grant them over girls and women.

Lastly, the reason why violence in schools doesn’t seem to decrease is that the institutions remain still and do nothing. They want to protect their image. However, their reputation is based on how the students are doing. The school affects the behaviour of the students, but they don’t do anything to change because institutions and society, in general, have excused such behaviour with the casual “boys will be boys.” Kimmel states in “Masculinity” that gender is not some “thing” one has but a specific set of behaviours that are produced in specific social situations (2). This proves that an institution such as school has a major role in fortifying prescriptive attitudes and behaviours.

To conclude, violence in schools shows that stereotypical manhood harms boys and others. Schools should work on becoming safe faces to accommodate students of all kinds and be flexible with their teachings and attitudes in order to be at pace with the understanding that the world is coming to- how gender, as a social construct, should relax its boundaries and allow greater space for personal expression.

Work Cited

Kilmartin, Christopher, and Andrew P. Smiler. “Defining Men’s Studies.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 1–7.

Kimmel, Michael.“Masculinity.” International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences. Ed. William A. Darity, Jr. 2nd ed. Vol. 5. Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2008. 1-5. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 9 June 2014. 1-5. Print.

Kimmel, Michael. Masculinity as Homophobia. 1994.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/school-violence-editors-note-1.5331402

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/school-violence-marketplace-1.5224865

The first question I asked was “Why are you close to your friend?”, he took a long time to respond, so long that I told him to pass for the next one. For the second question, what he said he likes to do with this friend is going out for camping and road trips, taking photography and playing video games. Moreover, the next question was if he ever told his friend what he means to him, he answered that he did at the time when they went out for camping, he said they had a deep conversation with each other, talking about how much they’ve gone through their lives and they’re still and will be there for each other. He said his friend’s reaction was he smiled and agreed. I went back to ask him the first question, he said it is why they’re close because they count on and support one another. 

Though in the text it states “Reflecting masculine norms male-only groups are often activity based instead of relationship based and thus their members come together to do a specific thing and not to build relationship or maintain their relationships” (Kilmartin, 169).  It’s true to the fact that they will do an activity based to brought them together but from what I heard from my male friend and his friend is that not only it give the bond but it also gave them the realization that they are like brothers. They find time to get together and I think even though they may lack showing or telling each other’s feelings, actions still speak louder than words. Mostly through actions, they get together and also get to understand each other well, this can either create or destroy a relationship. But, if they have similar interests then they are bound to get closer to each other.  

From the text “Masculinity”, Michael Kimmel writes “Institutions accomplish the creation of gender difference and the reproduction of gender order through several gendered processes.” I think he means by how institutions such as school, work, media, family and so on shape a major impact on how men and women should be. It created a lot of differences between genders, the way men and women should act, the way they think and behave. Also, they have a fixed image of masculinity and when they do things differently, they don’t find it acceptable.  What we saw in the discussion in “Man Enough”, there was a part where they talk about how society created men to be in the ‘Manbox’ and when they get outside the box, they’re alone and on their own therefore they remain silent to keep the ‘bro code’ to fit in and to be accepted. 

Moreover, I think what he means by masculinities instead of using the term masculinity is that it’s not just a single meaning, there are different perspectives of masculinity and how each individual see and define masculinity.  Like an example from the text, how to be a man in France is not the same as in Australia and how a man was back in the day might not be the same as today. It changes over time since the environment and people’s behavior around also change and that it won’t always be the same. As we watched the discussion from “Man Enough”, if they only get to be comfortable at accepting their own way of what being a man is rather than the need to try to prove themselves if they’re man enough by being taught to do ‘this and that’, if a man is allowed to be himself and express himself in a unique way, then this can also contribute positively in making this world a better place.

In the documentary “The Mask You Live In,” what first caught my attention was when a teacher named Ashanti Branch and a group of male students in a circle were doing an activity about the mask. They were told to write what they show to people through that mask and what actually lies behind that mask. From behind the mask, they reveal that most of them feel sadness, anger, and pain. But, on the outside, they show smiles, humour, and friendliness. It makes me sad to see that they feel that they need to hide their emotions because they feel as though it’s not “manly” or that showing emotions makes them out to be weak. It’s not surprising that they feel that they have to show they’re strong or tough because that’s what society tells them to do. It doesn’t makes a man less “manly” if they show that they are vulnerable. Emotion is not just part of being women, it’s part of being human. Sometimes you’re at your lowest and you fall apart, but there is nothing wrong with showing it. There are times when you can’t face it alone and you need someone to be there for you without feeling that you are judged for being vulnerable.

Also, another part that stood out to me is Steven’s part; his story is that he isn’t in a good relationship with his dad. His father would tell him to get a job, get money, and get a lot of women. But he knows that is not how he should be. He follows what’s best for him, which is to finish his education. I noticed how, even though he didn’t have a good image of a father figure, when it comes to his son, he is willing to take anything, such as to play both roles – to be a mother and a father. He learns that his son has feelings too and he does not let him hide away his emotions; he’s trying his best to understand what his son is going through, to let him know that it’s alright to cry and to open up. Steven once said that his son taught him to be more in touch with his emotions. I think that if a father is raising his kid the way he does, his son wouldn’t be scared to open up his feelings, to show emotions, and to tell what’s inside their heart. It shows a good connection between man and man. 

In Carlos Andres Gomez’s book, the part where he wishes guys to develop some kind of emotional literacy most struck me. The documentary helped me understand what he meant. Emotional literacy is the ability to understand and show emotions. It’s what men struggle with because they typically aren’t allowed to show their feelings. When men deal with emotions, they tend to get angry, as opposed to women who instead cry.

A man who inspires me would be Kim Namjoon also known as RM, from a Korean boy group, BTS. He has been a big inspiration to me. He is a smart, humble, genuine young leader rapper. I admire him from his hard work, his passion in music and how he speaks his mind and how he connects with people. At his young age, he’s writing songs about self-love, self-acceptance and self-reflection then uses his platform to send positive messages to the youth and that has a big impact on people like me. Somewhat, I learn that music has no language barrier because it is a universal language and that music makes everyone unite. Not only he speaks up for the youth, but he also comes forward and takes actions. In fact, he even spoke for the Unicef telling young generations about his story and to speak themselves. Here are some of his words: “Tell me your story. I want to hear your voice, and I want to hear your conviction. No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin colour, gender identity: speak yourself.” 

To me someone who is considered to be inspirational is someone who is true to themselves, who is living their passion and making people who looks up to them realize that dreams do come true if you work your way to it no matter what. 

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Fried chicken