No More Hockey Fights in The NHL

The stereotypical North American model of masculinity dictates that a ‘real man’ is one who is “heterosexual, Protestant, father, of college education, fully employed, of good complexion, weight, and height, and a recent record in sports” (Kimmel 2). Hockey is a sport that is primarily influenced these masculine norms that are evident in its fights, competition, and violence. These norms harm hockey players and their families. The present text has the intention to illustrate the unfavorable results that hockey fights and current masculine ideals provoke on  NHL hockey players’ mental and physical health, their work performance, their families, and their social relations with other men.

Associating masculinity with job performance could be beneficial for hockey players and their families when things go well. However, if the player is experiencing defeats and poor performances, he would be likely to meet frustration. Low performance could be the result of injuries product of hockey and its fights, the pressure put on the player to satisfy the family’s demands of a provider, and the tensión between the player opinions about fighting and what the NHL requires from him when the player does not want to fight even though he knows that it is the only way of having a career as a hockey player in the NHL. The frustration may be caused by the desire of having a successful career in hockey, satisfying the role of the breadwinner, but having no control over his success in hockey. Players cannot choose not to fight and not to suffer injuries or death produced by the sport and its fights. Frustration is not only damaging for the individual who suffers from it but also for his family. Players, who do not know how to deal with work frustration, feel powerless and eventually fall into depression and/or express these emotions by becoming violent. Unfortunately, spouses and children also pay the consequences of job frustration when the player and father endorses “current masculine norms,”(Kilmartin 232) and do not know how to deal effectively with emotions. (Kilmartin 232-233) Thus, the frustration and the impossibility of controlling success in hockey lead players to have a poor job performance and unhealthy family relationships.

Hockey is a sport that portrays masculinity. Competition and violence are the most prominent characteristics of hockey and current masculine ideals. On one hand, “competition is one component of masculinity that seems to contribute boy’s and men’s difficulty achieving relational intimacy,”(Kilmartin 165) and on the other hand, violence reinforces masculine ideals that advise how men should behave and react in life. Hockey players are taught to be competitive and aggressive since they start playing. Then, competition becomes a lifestyle. Research has shown that competition generates relational distance between men. (Cunningham, 1992 as cited in Kilmartin 166). Hockey players avoid intimacy not only with their teammates but also with all people that could harm them by using their weaknesses and vulnerabilities against them. It leads them to believe that they have to solve all the problems by themselves and ask for no help. “The masculine demand for Independence and self-sufficiency also inhibits self-disclosure” (Kilmartin 165). “These men feel less need to talk to others when they have problems,” (Kilmartin 166) and are more likely to suffer from depression due to a lack of social support (Kilmartin 166). High competitive and violent environments, such as the NHL, creates difficulties for players to establish Deep male-male friendships and re-formulate their ideals of masculinity.

The Hockey fights in the NHL a prejudice players’ physical and mental health. First of all, the chances of having brain injuries increase when players have physical confrontations during a hockey match. Chronic Trauma Encephalopathy  (CTE) is one of the most damaging outcomes of hockey fights not only for the players but also for their families. CTE  is a silent illness that, according to Dr. Ann McKee, “catches up several years to even a decade later” on players. It causes an emotional breakdown in the victims of CTE when it reaches its peak of development. Usually, these people know that there is something wrong going on their minds but they cannot explain it or associate it with CTE produced by the hockey fights. Eventually, CTE may result in substance abuse, depression, memory loss, and, in the worst scenario, suicide when it does not receive a proper psychological treatment. Also, as discussed previously in the present text, men, who subscribe to the masculine ideology of self-sufficiency, are less likely to ask for help when they face a problem in their lives. Therefore, CTE consumes their lives. Secondly, as an important fact to consider, the NHL  does not effectively protect players from CTE.  The NHL claims that without wearing globes and helmets during a fight, fighters are protected from suffering major injuries. However, the reality is different. Hockey players get major injuries and even some of them die on the ice field. Hockey players’ careers get to an end because of major injuries produced by the nature of violence in the sport and/or the fights. Those players who luckily make it to retirement without apparently major injuries, may probably develop CTE soon and therefore get extremely affected by it. Mostly, they have to deal with emotional conflicts that they do not understand, and so do their families. The worst scenario for a player’s family is when the player dies either from fighting or suicide. Hockey players and their families suffer the negative outcomes of hockey fights and the NHL does not take effective actions to prevent hockey players from suffering from CTE or dying on the ice field.

It is essential to understand, reevaluate and change the traditional model of masculinity where the men have to be the breadwinner and self-sufficient. It has had catastrophic effects not only on the hockey players but also on their families. This is evident in male-male poor and shallow relationships, players’ mental and physical health, the grief and challenges that families have to endure when they have a husband and father who is a victim of CTE. As one of the solutions, men need to learn to be emotionally expressive and vulnerable. It is important to clarify that vulnerability does not mean weak but to be human. For a long time, NHL players have suppressed their natural feelings because of fear and desire for a successful career in hockey. However, this is the best time for hockey players and their families to stand up and back away from fear and to start demanding for hockey without fights. Hockey, like any other sport, brings happiness to both players and fans. It should not bring fear, frustration, grief, illness, and even death to their players.

Cited Works

Kimmel, Michael.“Masculinity.” International Encyclopedia of the Social Sciences. Ed. William A. Darity, Jr. 2nd ed. Vol. 5. Detroit: Macmillan Reference USA, 2008. 1-5. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 9 June 2014. 1-5. Print.

 Kilmartin, Christopher and Andrew P. Smiler “Men at Work: Jobs, Careers and Masculinity.” Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 221-226,228– 235.

Kilmartin, Christopher and Andrew P. Smiler. “No Man Is an Island: Men in Relationships.” The Masculine Self, Cornwall On Hudson, NY, Sloan Publishing, 2019, pp. 161–171.

CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 24 Nov. 2019, http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/episodes/2019-2020/hockey-fight-wives-reveal-the-cost-of-concussions.

The first episode “The Code” of the CBC’s The Fifth Estate and the CBC documentary “School Violence: How To Fight For Safer Schools have opened my eyes about the tremendous impact of masculinity in our Canadian society. In my opinion, these masculine beliefs, that say that men must be tough, strong, agressive, and get what they want no matter the price, negatively affect our society. we can see the results in schools and in our national sport (the hockey). While school violence is an outcome of what happens inside the Canadian families, hockey is a mirror of our of our society. First of all, according to Dr. Christopher Kilmartin, the desconnection of fathers from home has conceived many generations of men and women that have had  a lack of love from their fathers and who think that men are superior than women. It is inevitably to see violence and sexual harashment in schools if it is what we all have experienced in our families, and seen on T.V. and internet. We all accept violence while supporting Hockey and the implicit fights within. Kids watch this violence on T.V.  and reproduce it at schools. Eventually, their children will be, consciously or unconsciously,  taught in violence. In the case of sexual abuse, it also starts at home when boys and girls see that the father takes control over the mother. Boys might end up thinking that it is normal to use women to satisfy their sexual necessities regardless of their opinion ,and girls may belief that it is acceptable that men take control over them. This is a cycle that never ends that begins in raising children. However, us, as the new generation, have the power of change. The first step is to reformulate the concept of men. By acknowledging that men do not have to be tough, emotionally disconnected, agressive, in control of women, and the only providor to be a ‘real man’, we give a chance to equity. 

In our estern society, men are supposed to work to bring food home and women to raise children and take care of the house. Nowadays, due to many factors including the feminism, women have decided to change their marginal situation and take charge of their lives. Today, women go to work to pursue their independence and dreams as well as men do. However, women still play the role of caretakers of children and houses. This fact increases the inequality between men and women because we assume that women should perform all these tasks in addition to work; while men’s only responsibility is to focus on work to provide a family with money and food. Therefore, women have more challenges and less chances of getting a satisfactory job perfomance than men.

When it comes to the work area, companies do not evaluate that women have to do more tasks and chores than men in our society yet, they make their policies and way of functioning according to a male workforce, that only breaths and lives for work. Not taking these socially constructed gender differences between both sexes into account perpetrates the existing inequality and male dominance. As a result, women are seen as inferior and less than men in a work place where men have all the chances to succeed and women do not. The above explains why “Institutions [such as companies] accomplish the creation [and perpetration] of gender differences and the reproduction of gender order [where men have control and power over women] through several gender processes.”(Kimmel, 2000)

When we understand that masculinity is a social constructed concept, which varies depending of the country, time, lived experiences, we have the control create our own concept of masculinity. This acknowledgement is eye-opening and releasing because it frees us to behave and do what is best for us even if it contradicts what is understood in the society as masculinity, and it makes us understand that we are not obliged to follow or behave according to a specific gender if we do not want to do it. Additionally, it disclosures the fact that, as men, we must change the way we think about and behave towards women. The challenge is to reach equal and fair society in which women are not less than men.

Hello guys. In this weeks blog, I will talk about an evident issue present in our society and it is the idea of ‘masculinity’. Television, internet, music, porn, cinema, religion, family, society, social media, youtube have shown us how to behave as men. We are told to be violent, aggressive, respected, tough, strong and to show no weakness (love, affection, sympathy). Obviously, this is not the norm for everyone. We cannot generalized and say that all men do not express love, sympathy and kindness. It depends on family, society, exposure to the streaming media, education, but mostly on you and the decisions that you make. My goal is to try to illustrate what masculinity is, its causes and how it overpowers in our society and the relation of some anecdotes of my bro Carlos Andres Gomez to the topic.

First of all, it is important to understand that all the streaming industry and society are constantly reinforcing this ideal form of masculinity that is based on three main aspects such as strength, economical success, and sexual success. Strong men are characterized for being physical active, muscular, skillful in some sport and showing no emotions. Being emotional, is considered to be women-like therefore, men have to suppress their emotions if the want to be part of a certain crew. The economical success is seen as the role in which the man has to put the food on the table and economically look after the home. It means that a real man has to have a job, car, house and money to fit in the ideal of masculine man. In my opinion, this is not wrong. As I see it, it is necessary to have economical stability to enjoy life in a better way. However, what if a person is not interested in making money but crazy for meditation and a farm life; what if I do not want to have a car. For some people, the ideal father and husband is a person who has a 9-5 job, a house, a car, a family. However, every single person is an unique human being with a different set of goals, likes, aspirations, and his/her happiness should be first. Finally, religion and porn share the same category which is the sexual success part, that dictates that men have to be heterosexual, like rough sex at some degree. On one hand, some religions (specially catholic) promote heterosexuality and condemn all the spectrum outside it. As I was growing up in a catholic country, I could see how being gay was a sin. Also, my first drum teacher who was Christian pastor told me how he helped gay people to become straight and finally “normal”. Also, a famous Colombian dancer who use to be part of the jury of a dancing T.V. show and who I could tell was really gay, became straight when he adopted the Christianity in his life. Personally, I do not believe that story. I cannot lie to myself by saying that I do not like chocolates and forcing it. I had to suppress my cravings in order to stop eating chocolates but I would still like them anyways. On the other hand we have the porn that teaches us how to behave in a sexual encounter. It shows men to be aggressive and treat women as objects. Again, there is no right or wrong but the issue about porn is that illustrates how sexuality should be instead of what it is in real life, which is totally different to what you see on the screen. As sexual beings, we should be guided by our instincts to discover how and what we like about sex while giving and receiving pleasure. There is a big responsibility on schools, parents and healthcare that should tell students the whole true about sex and guide them through the process of sexual development.

As an example to support the fact of emotional suppression by men, I would like to bring up an anecdote by Carlos when he was hanging out with a girl for casual sex and one night he decides “to interlink his fingers with hers.” Following this act she said “Whoa, what are you doing? We’re not married, Carlos,” then, he thinks in the twenty times that she sucked his dick and swallowed his cum (75). In this anecdote we clearly see how Carlos is getting emotionally involved, however his feelings are condemned by her and as a result, Carlos has to suppress his feelings. Also, by seeing sex as an object of physical pleasure, just like it happens in pornography, one could created a misunderstanding of sexual encounters by thinking that they do not involve affection and positive emotions. The issue is not to have sex without involving emotions but it is to think that sex should be that way always. In my opinion, all types of fulfilling sexual meetings must be accompanied with respect and sympathy. But, it is a challenge for men to develop sympathy if they are told to hide them and to be respectful if they are bombarded with violence everywhere.

According to me, a real man is a male person who know he is, what he wants, what he likes. Also, the person who protects and perpetrates peace, freedom, and life in all the ways. Instead of buying the concept of masculinity that the whole society sells us, I invite you guys to make your own concept of masculinity.

The person who has inspired me most, and to whom I thank for all that I am, is my dad. Fortunately, I grew up in a functional family where love and respect are paramount. Since I was young, I learned the fundamentals to succeed in life. Such as honesty, justice, independence, decision-making, compassion and caring about others. He would tell me to be a good person by treating people as I would like to be treated. Although, what has marked me the most is his coherence between what he preaches and what he actually does because it is easy to say things but to make them real is a whole different story. As well as it is easy to make a promise but it isn’t to keep it. Ever since, I have modeled his worthy values and behaviors that have turned out to build the person that I am. Even if I know that I am not perfect and that life is a long journey, I feel proud and completely happy to say that thanks to my dad’s guidance I have become a good person who knows who he is, what he wants, how to appreciate all the things that life provides me with and the people around me, how to stand tall when hard times come.

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