A man is defined by society in various ways, more specifically being stereotyped into gendered roles, some example would be that men should be strong, show no signs of weakness, be independent and have the ability to not show any sort emotions because it is not fitting of a man. This is completely ridiculous to think that that is something society deems to be worthy of being called a man. However I have the perfect counter example for this, that being Jake Paul, a youtuber and social media personality who has amassed over 19 million subscribers with his many YouTube videos. The fact that he has a platform where everything and anything of this person is available to everyone , it becomes very hard to hide their emotions and personality.

First of all , Jake Paul is someone that has succeeded in life thanks to everyone that has helped him get there . From his family members to his friends, his success comes from the support of everyone . The fact is that to be a man, you don’t necessarily have to be independent and do everything on your own in order to become successful or achieve the so called man title. All this to say that asking for the help of others doesn’t shows how incapable you are and that men should not be scared of asking for help when they need it.

Second of all, being a youtuber means showing your emotions and your personality. That being said Jake Paul isn’t someone who shy’s away from showing his emotions even if it means crying on camera, which society has deemed wrong for men and to be something that the typical man should not do. For example, when he won his boxing match, he didn’t hide his emotions or rather he started crying because of how proud he was of himself. In short, it’s to say that crying or showing emotion has nothing to do with being a man, rather it’s a something that society has created to categorize men.

According to Brannon’s definition of masculinity in the theme Status and Achievement: “Men gain status by being successful in all that they do, especially in sports, work, and sexual conquest.” This statement is not necessarily true. There are in this world, several men who have been successful, and who have been able to accomplish extraordinary things, without necessarily respecting the definition proposed by Brannon. Let’s take Gandhi for example. This man totally defies the definition of Masculinity above.

Gandhi is an important spiritual guide of India and of the movement for the independence of this country. Without using any form of violence, this man managed to lead India to independence and Gandhi became successful and accomplished something extraordinary. He was not successful in sports or in his work. He was not recognized for his sexual conquests either. He only became successful after his civil disobedience and this has inspired many civil liberation and defense movements around the world. Because of all of this, I think Gandhi is a good counter example of Brannon’s definition.

The rules of manhood state that a real man must be strong emotionally even in the hardest situations. He must not show any sign of weakness and must not seek for help, ever. He should “keep [his] feelings to himself” and avoid communality, as it is considered a feminine trait. A counter example of that would be Dr. Sean Maguire, played by the late Robin Williams in the movie Good Will Hunting. Sean Maguire is a wise teacher and brilliant psychologist. Throughout the movie, he was able to reach to young Will and to help him overcome his trauma. By the end of the movie, he also becomes a great friend to Will. We learn from the movie that he has been through a lot. He is a war veteran, he grew up with an abusive father and he lost his beloved wife to cancer.

While Will acts tough by never showing any sign of vulnerability, the strength is much more seen in Sean, who deeply grieved for his wife and didn’t shut down his emotions and feelings for her. He has never seen his love for her as a sign of weakness. In fact, he took pride when he told Will “You’ve never looked at a woman and felt completely vulnerable”. He considers this as the true proof that he is a real man, and that Will is just a kid with no real romantic experience. He acknowledges his vulnerability towards the woman he loves and is not afraid to talk about how much her death broke him, and this never makes him seem less of a man. In the movie, he tells Will about how he missed a famous baseball game to get to know his wife better, back when he barely knew her. While Will viewed this decision as stupid, Sean genuinely did not care about that “damn game”. Other men nowadays would consider this as a sign of dependence, but Sean only cared about getting to know a woman that interested him better. Therefore, Sean is clearly a counterexample because he’s not afraid to express his love and vulnerability towards his wife to anyone. He is not ashamed of his sadness and takes pride in it He lives by it and that makes him a stronger person and never makes him any less of a man.

In the famous “It’s not your fault” scene, Sean learns more about Will’s attachment problems due to the trauma caused by his abusive father. He then proceeds to repeat to Will that none of it is his fault, until Will eventually breaks down in tears and hugs Sean, letting out all of the pain he had kept inside his entire life. It is clear that Sean is aware that Will cannot deal with his trauma alone. In fact, he knows that he needs to let it out, just like any normal human being. Unlike what the rules of manhood state, Sean is aware that it’s normal to break down, to cry, to lose control and to seek help. In this very powerful scene, he creates a safe place for Will, free from all the outside world prejudice. He allows him to express his sadness and reminds him that none of this abuse is his fault and that he should not feel ashamed talking about it and seeking out other people’s help to get over it, including his girlfriend’s. This hug clearly was what Will was longing for, because he had always rejected all forms of love.

To conclude, Sean Maguire is an excellent counterexample for this aspect of manhood. As a renowned psychologist, he knows that it’s perfectly normal to seek out for help and to express how you feel. He himself is always very genuine about his love, his pain and his vulnerability, and this has never made him any less of a man. For those of you who haven’t watched this movie, I truly recommend it!